Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Exhausted



“One event a week,” she said to me after she took a sip of her drink.  “We will only participate in one a week.”

“My word, Emily,” I responded.  “How could you limit yourself to only one activity a week?”

“And I always run it by my husband,” she added.

“Oooo, that must pump him up,” I said excited to add that to my list of “pumping up my husband” ideas.

I paused and breathed a heavy sigh.  “Gosh, Emily, sometimes I am gone three nights a week.”

“And how does that work out for you?” she asked me, raising one of her brows with that look that pressed a response from me, “Hmm?”

“I am so…  Overwhelmed.  Exhausted.  Overextended.  Frustrated.”




“I can’t keep my house clean.  I wake up to a sink filled with last night’s dishes.  I can’t keep up with laundry.  Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch and layer it on top of me like a blanket.  I lose patience with my children, my husband.  And I am balding on one side of my head from constantly pulling on my hair from stress.”

“Let me see your bald spot,” she leaned forward eager to witness my balding.

“Emily, I am kidding.  But I do have heart palpitations frequently.  Here put your hand against my chest.”

“No, that would look weird,” she laughed.

“Em, aren’t you afraid if you don’t respond to people and events that you will stop being invited?”

“Does that matter?  I want less.  I want simple.  So it weeds out those who aren’t as close to me.  Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I guess, but I hate disappointing people.  I want to be friends with everyone.”

“Janna, no one is friends with everyone.” 

It reminded me of something I read once in a magazine, “When everything is important, nothing is important.”
Could that apply to people as well?  When everyone is important, no one is important.

If I had less in my life, would I be able to focus better?  Would I be a better mom?  Friend?  Wife?  Daughter?  Sister?

Would I enjoy my life more?

Would it feel weird to swim against the norm of doing, doing, and more doing?

Would I be weird?

Lonely?

Bored?


To not have my plate totally and fully piled with activities, events, obligations, expectations, and all sorts of things?

Would I have time to breath?

Time to breathe.

An activity that was foreign to me at this time of my life.
But I wanted to.  I wanted to stop taking air for granted.

Ahhh, to take in oxygen like I take in a chocolate peppermint patty, sucking off the chocolate first and then pressing the white minty stuff upon the roof of my mouth, and then later when I am so inclined, my tongue takes a glide or two over that delicious mint filling.  I like to spend some time with the peppermint patty.

Maybe taking some time to breathe in oxygen could be just as fulfilling.


4 comments:

  1. haha. still laughing over that second photo. i know exactly how you feel. i've been there way too many times. thanks for sharing, love. I hope you had a fabulous weekend. I've got a new outfit post inspired by Marilyn Monroe. Love to hear what you think. xo

    http://fashboulevard.blogspot.com/

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  2. I always enjoy your posts Janna!!

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  3. I could use some of that! I hope you find some relaxation during the holidays.

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