Anchors are good. They keep you feeling safe and secure. When anchors shift it feels as if your very world is being pulled out from under you. I was experiencing a shifting and a distancing of anchors, and life was uncomfortable because of it.
What if all of this unraveling of the securities in my life was about something deeper? A need to re-anchor. Not in new friends and other relationships or new activities or a new found self, but a need to anchor myself in my three top priorities- God, husband, and children. I needed to reevaluate my life before God and prioritize as He would have me. I felt it time to increase my focus on Him as well as in this little family of mine.
I had held onto things, people, commitments that kept me teetering between two lives, my family life and my social life, one foot in and one foot out of this family. I was always ready to attend some social gathering rather than spending time for exclusive family time. Family time doesn’t always tend to be the most relaxing. It can be a little, hmmm, what’s the word? Maybe stressful? Maybe overwhelming? Maybe nerve-racking?
“Honey, can you pull our daughter out from underneath the restaurant table?”
“Stop pulling your sister’s hair!”
“Stop hitting your brother!”
Would I rather be out with the girls? Maybe?
As one of my friends wrote in a comment a few posts back, “My anchors have always been my friends and co-workers. I've been struggling lately with changing that anchor to my family. I often times think that others matter more than they really do. I would like to get to the point where I can say, yes...let’s move, as long as I have my family, I am good.”
I believe that God, in His infinite wisdom, was slowly allowing an unraveling of my previous anchors, and He was guiding me to re-anchor where I should be anchored- in Him and in this family of five. My husband and these three little people were my life. But in reality, they weren’t my life.
I remember a close friend of mine who moved away with her family. They moved to a place far away from anyone familiar to them. I remember her saying, “It was so good for our family, so bonding.” I put her statement deep within one of my mind’s files, and I wondered what it really meant. Bonding with just your family. Was my family not bonding the way she was talked about? Did we need to bond more? How do you know if your family needs more bonding?
We all piled into the minivan for a night out with just our family.
As we began to drive away from our house, my oldest son hollered from the back of the van, “Is it just our family going, Mom?”
“Yes, it is just our family. It is Family Fun Night.”
“So does that mean Grandma and Grandpa aren’t going to be there? And none of our friends will be there? It is only us?”
“Yes, this time it will just be our family.”
“Ah, man. That’s boring,” he answered in a very disappointed tone. My younger son moaned in agreement with him.
My husband and I glanced at each other with looks of concern.
Our family needs bonding.
Maybe we could all use some re-anchoring.