Sunday, May 22, 2011

Re-Anchoring





Anchors are good.  They keep you feeling safe and secure.  When anchors shift it feels as if your very world is being pulled out from under you.  I was experiencing a shifting and a distancing of anchors, and life was uncomfortable because of it.

What if all of this unraveling of the securities in my life was about something deeper?  A need to re-anchor.  Not in new friends and other relationships or new activities or a new found self, but a need to anchor myself in my three top priorities- God, husband, and children.  I needed to reevaluate my life before God and prioritize as He would have me.  I felt it time to increase my focus on Him as well as in this little family of mine. 

I had held onto things, people, commitments that kept me teetering between two lives, my family life and my social life, one foot in and one foot out of this family.  I was always ready to attend some social gathering rather than spending time for exclusive family time.  Family time doesn’t always tend to be the most relaxing.  It can be a little, hmmm, what’s the word?  Maybe stressful?  Maybe overwhelming?  Maybe nerve-racking?

“Honey, can you pull our daughter out from underneath the restaurant table?”

“Stop eating sand!”

“Don’t eat your boogers!!!”                                 

“Stop pulling your sister’s hair!”

“Stop hitting your brother!”


Would I rather be out with the girls?  Maybe? 

As one of my friends wrote in a comment a few posts back, “My anchors have always been my friends and co-workers. I've been struggling lately with changing that anchor to my family. I often times think that others matter more than they really do. I would like to get to the point where I can say, yes...let’s move, as long as I have my family, I am good.”

I believe that God, in His infinite wisdom, was slowly allowing an unraveling of my previous anchors, and He was guiding me to re-anchor where I should be anchored-  in Him and in this family of five.  My husband and these three little people were my life.  But in reality, they weren’t my life. 

I remember a close friend of mine who moved away with her family.  They moved to a place far away from anyone familiar to them.  I remember her saying, “It was so good for our family, so bonding.”  I put her statement deep within one of my mind’s files, and I wondered what it really meant.  Bonding with just your family.  Was my family not bonding the way she was talked about?  Did we need to bond more?   How do you know if your family needs more bonding? 

****

We all piled into the minivan for a night out with just our family.

As we began to drive away from our house, my oldest son hollered from the back of the van, “Is it just our family going, Mom?”

“Yes, it is just our family.  It is Family Fun Night.”

“So does that mean Grandma and Grandpa aren’t going to be there?  And none of our friends will be there?  It is only us?”

“Yes, this time it will just be our family.”

“Ah, man.  That’s boring,” he answered in a very disappointed tone.  My younger son moaned in agreement with him.

My husband and I glanced at each other with looks of concern.

Our family needs bonding.

Maybe we could all use some re-anchoring.

Into this:

7 comments:

  1. I find it funny how God knows and tells us exactly where our priorities should be and He tells us who our anchors should be, yet we as fallen creatures try to tell God who it is that should be important to our lives. I often time invest too much in relationships with others, only to be let down. We are dealing with this exact situation right now, we put our trust and time into a relationship that turned out ugly all over something as stupid as money. Or we invest in other relationships where we come out feeling like we have been used or walked over. My husband and I invest in anchors that will always fail us. Its a life lesson I am still learning to this day. If i invested in my family relationship as much time as I do with friends, think of how incredibly awesome and impactful our time together would be. Funny how our family is the anchors God desires us to have, yet its the one anchor I think we all take forgranted (at least I do).

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  2. I love this post. My hubby and I realized it's been 2 years since we took a vacation with just our family. What?! We hadn't even realized. We need to rethink that. That picture of you guys is GORGEOUS!

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  3. I can't wait for the day when you pull up your anchor and set sail...not knowing where you are going, but trusting that God has a greater plan than you have for yourself.
    You are a gifted writer! It is so amazing to watch God work through you. You and I are going through similar things. So reading your story helps put perspective on things I hadn't thought about.

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  4. I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!!! Feedback keeps me motivated to continue writing! Thank you.

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  5. Seriously one of the BIGGEST benefits we have experienced, having "left anchors" and set sail, is our family's unity and bonding. Your friend (in my opinion) is absolutely right. It is so very bonding... and so very good. My kids are each other's best friend. My husband and I are each other's best friend.
    I love your writing, too. Makes me want to keep reading. And, I love what God is doing in your life and heart--- makes me smile.

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  6. I need it all. My family is my life, I spend my life keeping it together and nourishing them but I cannot do it alone. I need the distraction/enhancement of my people, my friends. Not every day, not every time but I need them as I need my family.

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  7. I agree with you, Elena.

    I just needed to find the balance in my life.

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