I am a 30 something married woman with three small children. I am tired of living a life full of hustle and bustle. I want to slow down to smell the daisies, or roses, or whatever flowers are blooming at the time I stop to smell them. I am ready to make big changes in my life. I am ready to make my life more simple.
This is the story of how I simplified my life.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Why is My Mind so Distracted?
As soon as I pull myself out of bed in the morning, my mind becomes flooded with all the responsibilities and things that I need to do that day.
I immediately go to my computer and turn it on.
I think to myself, “I am just going to check my emails, just to see if anyone sent me one.” I don’t have time to respond, but I am curious.
I pull up my emails, and low and behold, I got mail! My question is answered; I indeed have messages from friends and loved ones.
Now I am excited. What could they possibly be trying to tell me? What if it is important? Oh, maybe it can’t wait!
O.k. I will just read them, but I don’t have time to respond.
Oooo, someone has a question or problem that needs me! It's so urgent. So important. They can't live without me! I can't take care of it now, but when I get home from taking my eldest son to school, I will write back. My thoughts begin to process how to respond- later, of course. I can’t be late again today.
My middle son creeps up the stairs, asking if Dad is still in bed so he can go upstairs to cuddle with him. My first born then appears followed by a little voice downstairs calling, “Mom! Mom!” My baby girl is ready for me to get her out of her crib.
In the hustle and bustle, where is my mind’s attention? I can say for sure that it isn’t in the present happenings. It is thinking about the emails that I need to respond to. My mind is focused on something else.
“Mom, look at the clouds outside.”
“That’s nice, honey. Now eat your breakfast.” My deep contemplations about emails were interrupted.
“Honey, did you see anything for me at the post office?” My husband asks me.
“Hugh? What did you just say?” I can't hear anything but my thoughts.
All of their voices sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice,
“Wha Wha Wha Wha and Wha.” That is all I hear.
Their interruptions begin to invade my busy mind. I am a little annoyed.
I am seeing a pattern. I am allowing myself to be constantly available to everyone and everything else. Whoever and whatever interrupts me takes first in line.
I feel like I am living a “call waiting” life.
I may be with someone, but if a text, phone call, or email alerts me with its chime, my concentration becomes divided. My attention is constantly elsewhere. Could it be, I have ADD? Maybe my mind is just completely and utterly overwhelmed.
I am like a hamster on its hamster wheel, running in place, tired, weighed down, and not accomplishing much.
I want to stop the madness! I want to focus, really focus on the present happenings in my life. I want to be with, really be with the people who are around me. I don’t want to be physically in one place but mentally in another.
I am missing out on things that matter because I am focusing on things that don’t.