Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Could My Habits be the Problem?

Maybe I check my email too often. 

Maybe I answer the phone during times when I should let it ring.  

Maybe I should wait until I have down time before I respond to texts. 

Maybe I have over committed myself, my family. 

Every time I cut something out of my schedule, it seems other commitments sneak into replace it.  I want to simplify but am not sure how to.  I want to make changes, but how do I make changes when I don’t know what the problem is?  

I asked a trusted mentor mom of mine, a mother of four grown children, “If you could change anything about your past parenting, what would it be?”

Her response:

You asked if there was anything I could change regarding my past.  Well, hind sight is great.  We all make mistakes and have regrets.  My daughter was a dancer and she eventually was at the dance studio six days a week.  My two youngest were very athletic and played soccer, basketball and baseball.  They would have their regular season and then get picked for the all star team.  The sports then overlapped and we were always running here and there. Our weekends were filled and we missed church a lot.  We would not have a lot of family dinners together.  It seems like someone was always missing.

I would change all of that. I wouldn't miss church which would teach them about putting God first. I wouldn't let them do multiple sports and I would make our family and family time a priority. I just look back at those days of running and wonder how I did it all and I was always exhausted. I even can't remember a lot of memories from that time because I was just too busy. That is the saddest part of all. Don't let your life be so busy that you can't remember things. So I am with you on the simple life. God wants us to put Him first, then our husband and then our family. Everything else just doesn't matter.

Do we all just become ragged worn out taxi moms who can’t remember anything?

Oh no.  It sounds exactly like the road of motherhood I was traveling down.  

Why am I traveling down this road?  Is there another path I could take?  I need a road map.  

Could moving out of the hustle and bustle of the big city be the direction I need to go?  Could that simplify my life?  Would I really be able to entertain this idea that I have been so adamantly against?   

Before considering a major, drastic change like this, I had to find the answer to a question I had had for a long time.  

Is life more simple in different places?
I decided to interview people who had moved out of state to simplify their lives.  I ended up on the phone with a friend of a friend who had moved to another state from Southern California.  I asked this woman, a complete stranger, “So is life really more simple up there away from the big city?” 

Her answer was revealing. 

Eye opening. 


The lady answered wisely, “It depends on your habits.  If you move and bring your fast pace habits with you, then no, it won’t be any more simple than down there.” 

Hmmm, my habits.  I never realized that my habits could be the problem.

The last thing I wanted to do was make major changes in our lives and then come to find out it was my habits that were the problem.


  1. Having lived in several states, I'm going to say that the place that was the most peaceful was Montana.... lots of ranchers, cowboys, loggers, mill workers, and regular people. They work hard, but it seemed for most of them God, Family and Friends were the priority. And the scenery was amazing. Now I live in the Puget Sound area, and while it's urban here between Seattle and Portland, the trees, mountains and water always remind me of what's important-- the scenery is such a constant reminder of God's presence in our world and how short life really is.

    I hope you figure out what you're looking for so you can find that Simple Life! :)

  2. I have found "the habits" quote VERY true. where ever you go, there you are--- to put it simply. Wherever you move, you take YOURSELF with you. Your habits make it or break it. Simplicity, I think (haven't "found it" exactly myself...but on the road!), is a thing of the heart. Simplicity is a thing of the heart, ...And then a thing of the heart that then flows out to our actions (our habits). Really good post. Good things to ask, to ponder. Thank you, friend.