I think I added too much to my plate.
While attempting to mother three small children, I was the leader of the moms’ group at my church. I started a part time out of the home business that took off and began to become very time consuming. All three of my children have allergies to different foods, which made cooking a great challenge. My son started waking up in the middle of the night to throw up. I thought he had the flu, but this occurrence continued for months. I was also, on occasion, being woken up in the middle of the night by my other child who was dealing with the constant pain of his eczema.
My husband was working 15 hour days.
I had a hard time going to sleep at night, and often I woke up in the middle of the night to throw up myself.
If that wasn't enough lack of sleep, every morning I was awoken by lovely beams of the sun shining in my face, which would wake me way before it was time to start the day.
Could it be that I was overwhelmed? Duh.
My heart palpitations seemed to be more frequent.
Talk about stress. And when you are stressed who feels it the most besides you? For me it is my husband and children, that’s who. I know it must have been taking a toll on them. And I wondered what they were being taught by this go go go lifestyle?
I couldn’t keep my house clean. I couldn’t keep up with the laundry. My kids hair wasn’t brushed. My hair wasn’t brushed. Their teeth weren’t brushed either, but that’s o.k. because the first set of teeth are just there to practice on, or so I thought. The dentist just told me that that isn’t true….$600 later. Great. Add brushing onto my list of things to do.
I began to live just to get through each day. In the back of my mind a little voice of hope comforted me, “Night time will soon be near and I will get to watch t.v.! Is Office on tonight? Maybe "Dancing with the Stars"?” There is always some kind of reality show to hold my interest.
Dan walked through the front door, home from a 9 hour work day. He was about to get started working on his side business.
“Why are we doing this?” He looked at me with fatigue in his eyes, really expecting an answer.
I answered while sighing deeply, “I don’t know.”
I couldn’t help but to agree with him. Why are we living life at this pace? What are we doing to ourselves? To our children?
In the back of my mind, I hoped I wouldn’t be waking up nauseous in the middle of the night again.